It is one thing to start communicating with a person online, and quite another to finally meet them in real life. Anticipation, confusion, or pretended confidence, awkward pauses are almost cocksure — how can you still make a decent impression?
1. Avoid Talking About Movies, Talk About Journeys
English analysts have conducted an investigation. It turned out that of the couples who talked about movies on their first date, only less than 9% wanted to get together again. But of those who talked about journeys, 18% continued to date. The reason, possibly, is that wayfaring for us is associated with carefree get-away time, with the embodiment of sentimental thoughts. As we talk about these exciting moments when we date senior women, we are inspired and more attractive.
2. The Main Thing is Not What You Talk About, But How
The secret of communication is to avoid extremity. Do not try to be prevalent, but do not be inert either. Notice the initiative of your interlocutor, change the way of the discussion a bit and give the pass back. React to his or her responses warmly and with genuine interest. This combination of accepting the potential partner and subtly adjusting the topic will keep the conversation flowing smoothly.
3. Better Controversial Topics Than Boring Ones
If you cannot establish contact, take heart and start a conversation… even about abortion. Psychologists state that on the first date, we often teeter, solving two issues at once. We try to show ourselves and to find out something gingerly about our potential partner so as not to hurt him (her). Hence, as a safety net, they choose certain reliable topics for discussion, avoiding risky ones, and as a result, they may seem lackluster to the conversationalist. But what if you make the first dialogue more spicy and catchy?
Scientists have also done research. They asked dating site visitors to exclude completely neutral topics such as hobbies, sports, weather, or work from their correspondence and start discussing unseemly questions like:
- How many relationships have you had?
- When did you break up with your last partner?
- Did you break someone’s heart?
- How do you feel about abortion?
In the end, the participants conceded that the communication was really thrilling for them.
Of course, for real life, this is a bit too much, but you should still avoid topics that are too banal and therefore boring. Why not approach your first date outside the box? For instance, when preparing for a date, you can agree in advance which topics interesting to both you will discuss. Or, conversely, make a list of prohibited topics. Be that as it may, the main thing is to risk getting out of your comfort zone, and you will benefit.
4. Be Honest
On the first date, many are shy or afraid to talk about themselves. And in vain because psychologists have experimentally proven that you can rapidly accelerate the process of inner rapprochement at the very first meeting. They prepared a long list of questions that the participants in the experiment had to answer each other. For instance:
- Would you like to be famous? In what field?
- Did you have an old dream? Why didn’t it come true?
- What is your most precious/worst memory?
The result of the “games of frankness” turned out to be incredible: actually, in an hour of communication, unfamiliar people started to feel like twin souls.