Let’s start with the fact that he didn’t know exactly what a sugar baby, sugar daddy or sugar mommy was. This ignorance came from my own prejudices and misinformation, something that is very paradoxical in the age of social networks and information overload.
Multiple sugar daddy websites agree on definitions for a sugar daddy or sugar mommy as those people who are looking for company or certain types of relationship with young people and in return provide them with economic and material benefits. Sugar baby, meanwhile, is a person who wants to take advantage of his youth to get trips, financial rewards, emotional support or company.
“I started being a sugar baby about five years ago after a friend recommended it to me,” says Sylvia, 23, a math student. She uses a false name because she doesn’t want it to be linked to her afterlife. I don’t want my college classmates or close friends to know that I’m a sugar baby, I think they wouldn’t understand.”
As indicated by SeekingArrangement, a dating application for “relationships on your own terms”, a sugar daddy is a man who has a sentimental, sexual and loving relationship with a person much younger than him, which is not based solely on money for the company or other benefits such as going on trips or eating in fancy restaurants. Brandon Wade, CEO and founder of SeekingArrangement states on the website that sugar daddies can “help pay rent for an apartment, collect bills and other expenses that are part of the lifestyle of sugar babies.”
According to the SugarDaddySeek own usage statistics, Mexico is the place where there are more sugar daddies. This country is in the first place in Latin America with the highest number of registered sugar daddies and went from 183 thousand members in 2019 to 302 thousand members in 2021, which represents 34% of the worldwide registered members of the platform.
According to SeekingArrangement, Mexico is the place where there are more sugar daddies registered on its platform, 34% of its total members.
To find out how they act or what a sugar baby does, I talked to several and several (there are many men) on TikTok. In a few minutes and using hashtags like #sugarbaby, #sugardaddy, #dubai, #gucci or #yolo, I got hundreds of videos of them. In most of the videos, the faces of the sugar daddy or the sugar mommy do not appear. “I don’t record my sugar daddy, he prefers to be in the background and for me to have fun,” Olga, 30, an expert in social networks at a marketing company, replies after asking her why the escort never comes out. she.
Olga has traveled to Dubai, New York and Cancun. “I would never have been able to travel so much and see other cultures. I owe all this to my sugar daddy,” he tells me; later I ask him for his name, but he doesn’t want to tell me, he just tells me that he is “a businessman and he is 50 years. From the first moment he told me that he wanted to keep it hidden, but that I could upload everything I wanted to my networks. I’m free.”
The internet is full of content in Spanish that shows and tells how sugar daddies are surprising their sugar babies with gifts through videos they post on TikTok. One of the most famous content creators on the platform who was associated with the figure of “sugar daddy”, is Gianluca Vacchi , who has 18 million followers. The Italian tycoon showed his life with younger women, although according to gossip portals, he now went from being a sugar daddy to a real daddy because he recently became a father.
“For several years, I felt alone after my divorce. She wanted to be alive again and have company. With Jorge I feel very comfortable, we have similar tastes and we also have fun in the sexual field.
An issue that struck me from the first moment I thought about this world of new relationships is the freedom of dissemination that there is on TikTok about this content because I have not found it so easily on other networks and because of the number of people who speaks without taboo or fear of the subject there. Many videos advise how to find sugar daddy or sugar mommy, they suggest that all interactions be consensual, they talk about the limits that must exist between the two and that the sugar baby must always be of legal age. Most of the sugar babies on TikTok want to remove some of the prejudice and stigma that exists about them, an example is dashbeautyxx. She has more than 131 thousand followers and through her account, she informs about concepts of the sugar world and gives beauty tips for a date with a sugar daddy. “I think people have the idea that its sex work, but it’s the opposite,” Jorge explains. He also uploads content and stresses that his exposure on the networks “is helping to open minds and get people to start investigating more and don’t be afraid”.
Some of the tips that sugar babies give on TikTok are: how to dress on a first date, what to comment or talk about at dinner, how to start a conversation with the sugar daddy or mommy, and what countries you have to visit with your partner.
SugarDaddySeek is the platform that dominates this area in Spain and as reported on its website there is a sugar dating code – rules that the sugar baby and the sugar daddy or sugar mommy have to follow – so that there are no confusion.
Unlike other countries like the United States where being a sugar baby or sugar daddy is more normalized, in Europe the perception of this practice is somewhat diffuse and some experts speak of covert prostitution. One of these professionals is Begoña López, an expert in sexology and an activist against prostitution: “Relationships are being fostered with older men and women in exchange for favors, it can be money, a bag, a car and even trips to exotic places. “, and adds that it is much better to say “sugar baby than prostitute“.
For her part, Jimena Martín, an expert on issues related to feminism and the sexual exploitation of women, warns: “I am somewhat afraid of the increase in the trend of both women and men wanting to be sugar babies.” Jimena has been educating in educational centers for 30 years about the danger of social networks and the sending of sexual content without consent. “Many girls and some boys have asked me outside the talks, that they have sent images or videos of sexual content to older people and they have given them money or sent them mobile phones or computers. The message that this graphic or visual material can be used for pornographic pages must be made clear.